Friday Funnies: "Would You Like To See Out The Window?"

A funny story for you today. Allow me to set the stage.

The cast: Nana (me), Papa (my husband), and The Mouth, or Mouth for short. That would be our granddaughter and she is called that because the child has a preternaturally huge appetite. From the time she gets out of bed until she hits the sack at night, she never stops eating (or talking for that matter.) Not an ounce of fat on her, I have no idea where she puts it all, but I digress.

The time and place: A Sunday morning, around 9 am, 35,000 feet above sea level in a 767 somewhere between Dallas and Seattle.

The day before: It had been a very long day. We were on the last leg of a journey home from the east coast and missed our connecting flight. The plane had gotten in late after a huge delay taking off, and about 10 people on board all missed the same connection. We were not happy campers. Everything in the airport was closed, nowhere to get anything to eat, and our luggage made the connection but we didn’t. (Yeah, explain that one to me.) They sent us all to a beautiful 4 star hotel whose only restaurant… was closed. 11 o’clock at night, no clothes or toiletries, one hungry 6 year old, and we have to be up and out of the hotel at the buttcrack of dawn.

Sunday: Catch the 5 am shuttle back to the airport where, of course, the only place open is a fast food junk hole that charges double what our food vouchers are worth. (Thanks, Delta.) We finally take off, settle in and fall asleep after feeding The Mouth the last of some airplane snacks Nana had in reserve. Nana's in the aisle seat, Papa's in the middle, and The Mouth is by the window. Just about the time we get comfortable and close our eyes, the sun starts glaring through the window, hot, bright, and impossible to sleep with. The Mouth has had enough of a nap to refresh her, so Papa sets up her DVD player, closes the window shade, and goes back to sleep. Mouth decides it’s time to torture Papa. She watches him drift off to dreamland, and…

SNAP! Up goes the window shade. “Rise and shine, Papa!”

Papa reaches over, closes the shade, and lies back in his seat. The Mouth waits a couple of minutes and…

SNAP! Up goes the window shade again. “Rise and shine Papa!”

Papa says, “Mouth, I know you think it’s funny, and I do that to you at home all the time, but Papa is really tired. We’re going to have a long drive home when the plane lands, and I want to take a nap right now.” He falls back asleep, again, and The Mouth bides her time.

SNAP! “Rise and shine Papa!”

Papa is upset now. “Mouth, if you rise and shine me one more time, I’m taking your DVD player away and changing seats with Nana.” Mouth knows she’s in deep. “No Papa, please, I promise I won’t do it anymore.”

About 10 minutes goes by, and Papa is sawing logs. The Mouth can’t stand it anymore.

Tap, tap, tap on Papa’s arm. Papa sighs heavily, “What now Mouth?”

“Papa”, she whispers, “Would you like to see out the window?”